Bondageman
by SwordStitcher
Summary: Bruce gets a call from Clark about two wanted fugitives he knows all too well. Reaper and Dead Switch are at it again in another city but that's not going to save them from him any more than the fear gas did. One-shot.


A/N: Yet another conversation with L.D. that became a fully blown story. Meet Clarice, Switch's best friend and L.D. Eddy's creation.

The girls just wanted to get away from Gotham in an effort to circumvent the problems their last meeting caused [See: Alliances by L.D. Eddy] and failed to succeed. Scarecrow and Riddler will not be pleased.

Bruce isn't pleased either.

Ps: Black Canary can Fus Ro Da like no other!

* * *

'Bruce, I need you to come and pick up two felons you may know.' Clark's tone was casual, but to Bruce it held a hint of nervousness about it. He should have known it wouldn't be a quiet night for Batman tonight.

'Of course, what are their names?' He sighed.

'They go by Reaper and Dead Switch.' Clark replied.

Oh god not those two. Those two drunken buffoons never failed to accomplish a spiral of utter destruction whenever they got together. He tried to stifle it, but the groan wormed it's way down the phone. 'Sure Clark, bring them over.'

'Uh..' His tone suggested there was something wrong. Bruce picked up on it immediately.

'What happened?'

'They bumped into Black Canary on a visit.'

Bruce cursed. Canary could be a loose cannon when startled or angry and that damn shout of hers could cause serious damage. 'I'll be there within the hour.'

* * *

Batman landed in Metropolis on time and noticed that Superman was already waiting for him on the landing pad with his two felons. They were both a sorry sight, beaten and bruised but mostly shellshocked. They looked like punished schoolchildren rather than fully grown agents of terror.

'Superman.' Bruce nodded.

'Batman, I believe these are yours.' Clark replied evenly as a hand dug into the shoulder of each woman. They winced and groaned but seemed hopeful at the sound of The Dark Knight's name.

Reaper looked up at him and sagged in relief upon seeing his black cowl. 'Oh thank god, it's Batman!'

Bruce quirked an eyebrow in surprise, normally he was the last person a villain wanted to see.

Which caused Switch to add in relief 'We missed you Batsy.'

'Don't you mean Bondageman?' It was so quiet he wasn't even sure he'd heard it come from Reaper's mouth, but Clark had excellent hearing and had definitely heard the comment.

Clark's eyes rolled up to meet his in terrified questioning. 'It's a nickname they came up with while drunk, Superman. I'm not into…Of course I'm not-'

Clark was going to mention this to Diana, he knew it. Merely because the subject of Bruce's private life made better conversation than a lot of other things going on in the tower and if Diana heard about it, it wasn't going to take long for Flash or Green Lantern to overhear it and once that happened then the whole station would know that these two nutballs called him Bondageman as a pet name.

'He grabbed both women roughly and bundled them into handcuffs as quickly as possible. He left them securely shackled into the adjacent seats of the Bat-Wing with controls on lockdown. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd left someone in his beloved aircraft and had them wriggle out of their restraints and make off with it.

* * *

'I think we made him mad 'Rice.' Switch noted as Bruce desperately tried to convince Clark not to mention this little episode to Diana.

'We're makin' everyone mad today Switch.' Reaper noted gloomily.

'Well it wasn't my idea to come to Metropolis!' Switch snarled.

'It was your idea to mess with that blonde biker because she looked like Harley!' Reaper reminded her.

'Alright that was my fault! How was I to know she was a damn Dovahkiin?!' She sulked.

'Just don't mention this to Diana.' Bruce pleaded to his friend. 'The last thing I need is for the whole League to remind me of these two clowns.'

'Hey!' Switch whined. 'I find that offensive!'

'Be quiet, felon.' Batman snapped.

'Oh god it's going to be a long ride back.' Clarice moaned.

The mood in the Bat-Wing tanked when Switch added 'We've still got Scarecrow and Riddler to look forward to.'

'Oh for fucks-'

'Do you think we can convince Batman to turn us loose?' Switch asked hopefully. 'I mean, it was kinda self inflicted and we're plenty pitiable like this.'

'Batman's not got a nice bone in his body.' Clarice muttered darkly, 'Maybe Superundies would.'

'Anything's worth a shot if it means I don't get to see an angry Riddler.' Switch remarked.

'Hey, Superman!' She called. The two heroes abruptly stopped their argument long enough to look towards the captives in the plane. 'Thank you _so_ much for saving us from Black Canary. Certain bat-themed heroes wouldn't have.'

Superman wore the goofiest grin they'd ever seen as he replied 'No problem, ladies.'

'_Superman._' Bruce replied icily. 'They're wanted criminals.'

'They weren't doing anything wrong; they just picked a fight with the wrong person. C'mon Batman, they look like they've been punished enough-'

'That is not for you to decide.' Bruce reminded him sharply. 'They're coming back with me and going back to Arkham.' There was a pair of groans from the vicinity of the Bat-Wing.

'No discussions!' He snarled at the jet and then turned his attention to the downhearted caped crusader in front of him. 'Clark.' He uttered quietly.

'Bruce.' Superman returned. 'I appreciate the pickup.' He sighed.

'I appreciate the call.' Bruce returned.

'See you at next week's meeting?' Clark asked. 'Diana's making meatloaf.'

Oh god, Bruce could all but hope Joker broke out and caused havoc before then as a viable excuse to avoid having to possibly poison himself with Diana's cooking. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, none of them did and they certainly didn't want to be the one in the lasso if she suspected them to be lying.

'Sure Clark, if nothing comes up that needs urgent seeing to.'

Superman gave him a rueful smile. 'Her cooking's not that bad you know, it's actually improved.'

'You have a super-strength stomach.' Batman retorted. 'Some of us don't.'

With that he swung up into the jet and gave a half-hearted wave as the engines warmed up.

Back to Gotham it was.


End file.
